This blog is simply used as a tool to express my own thoughts & feelings.
Not everything in this blog is by me, i might use quote from famous people.
Because frankly I'm not that smart(:
You can contact me at estelle_special@hotmail.com
That's all ! Oh, Navigate through this blog by clicking on the above.

Click on "ABOUT", "CHAT", "LINK" & so on

love,
Estelle

Will a star drop down from the sky?
Will a girl turn into a boy?
Will flowers & insects talk?
&
Will you become mine?
If like harry potter; twilight & golden compass,
If i have the power they have,
I can turn people into frogs,
Or maybe the price charming of mine!

HAHAHA, not so wicked to turn people into a frog.
But the second part can be consider(:

By the way, my name is Estelle & I'm Eighteen.
Turning Nineteen on 12 January 2010, arghh seems old.
I love to talk & joke but not to everyone.
My idea partner must be as tall as 180cm,
Thou I'm just 157cm :D
Actually I had found my guy,
He has everything i wanted & I'm crazy abt him.
Stop my crap & enjoy reading(:

HAHAHA, happiest day in my life :D Keith bought me present & mostly he make a book about us. Its really touching as he even go to the internet and print out my pictures. Really very touching, my tears drip whenever i read the book. He even bought the "cinderella on ice" for me to watch as i always love ice-skating fairy tales. But too bad, technical problem must delay till this coming thursday then watch. But, its enuf for me. We took many photos too. The watch baby wearing is a present from me to him :D I LOVE YOU KEITH!




























































































































Happy 4th years anniversary KEITH. BEing able to be with you for this 4 years its my greatest joy & youtruely give me happiness. For this 4 years, you kept tolerating me and no matter what you will put on a smile on your face when you are looking at me or with me. You tried your very best to satisfy what i need and buy everything i say i like. From a tatty bear to a camera to a bag. I have never truely told you how i feel no matter how much you urge me to say. & right here i am going to say:

" KEITH WHANG, throughout this four years, its you who stayed by my side
regardless of happiness or sadness. Its you who help my sister when she needed
money to buy books & its you who show me concern by waiting for me when i am
teaching tuition. I just want to let you know that, I DO KNOW what you have done
for me & everything, every single thing no matter if its a big or small
thing, i DO REMEMBER! & i appreciated what you did for me, most importantly
i appreciate you. Deep down, i do love you, thou we always quarrel but everytime
i scold you or throw temper at you my heart hurts alot. I am very sorry for
making you sad & for making you feel hurt. But i dont mean it. I hope you
will know that Estelle Chen Anqi do love you Keith Whang."

Lastly, i am going out with him later, this time he is very secrective & i just will have to follow him. Looking forward for 11am. OMG, i think i should go get my things ready in case he come earlier. Bye :D Saw this book in the popular yesterday, the cover look really sweet & nice but its quite expensive; $24.90 for this small book. Wonder if library will have this book. Let me go and find it out next week. YEAH, finally baby exam is over, i am so happy. Tomorrow is August 28 & tonight i have to go teach tuition. Tired tired. Hope can see him as soon as possible, really cant wait le :D Do you think he will say things like: I feel sad, i didnt know keith still think of me like this. i write the previous not because i want to give him stress, i just want to have something i can look back in the future. But what he msg me, the words he used hurt me. He say "you should know what you mean" ! SO what i mean, seriously i mean nothing, NOTHING but does he believe me. He just think that i am giving him pressure again. Why cant he see me as a better girl, why must i always be revengeful & scheming to him. For 4years, he still doesnt know me well. It hurts me alot. I think whether i msg him i am home or not doesnt matter to him anymore cause he dont care. What am i to him, am i still the girl he fall in love with? I know i nvr change, i am sure. But did he change? I dont know, i am just upset really feel sad. This post is name fulfilling because i want to fulfill all my wish before December 31 2009. There's still 4months & 5days left. I understand what is the outcome and i accept it. Happiness have been revolving around me for 4 years and seriously i think its enough. Thanks alot for staying by my side for this 4years how can i possibly be selfish and ask for more. In the past, my wish is to let our relationship be recognized by your family thus been requesting it not knowing that it gives you alot of pressure. Like i say, if there's a will, there's a way. Since i can keep repeating this sentence to you, i should have known clearly that I am still not the right one for you. Thus i hope that i can make good use of this 4 months & 5 days to give you happiness and also fulfilling my wishes. Hahaha :D Leaving you, i have no regret as i know the story is gonna end like this long ago. Feeling upset ? Yes i believe if i dont feel upset then i dont love you at all.

Four years ago you asked me to be with you, when i am feeling lonely and upset and heartbroken from the previous relationship, you came into my life. You accompanied me throughout this four years having both happy and sad memories. The incident which left deep impression for me is that i once use a metal locker to throw it on you. You didnt blame me but you ran after me. For four years, i had been so unreasonable and stubborn but never once did you say you hate me.

Because of you, Because i fall in love with you;

I learnt that there's happiness in this world
I learnt how to smile in sad occasions
I learnt how to treasure & cherish people around me
I learnt how to eat sushi & even fall in love with it

Because of you, Because i fall in love with you;
I know that miracles do happen
I know that rainy days will definitely be over
I know that no matter what happen a guy name Keith will always be here for me
I know that actually not all ppl love themselve most because i love you more than anything.

& most importantly

Because of you, Because i fall in love with you;
I opened my heart to you & allow you to have a place in it.

The only regret is that I am still not the right one for you.


In 4months & 5days time, I'll have to leave & i don't know what can i leave for you.
I don't know what can i do for you, i hope you will always remember a girl name Estelle.
Someone who you always call silly & pig, someone who you proclaim you love deeply.
In my heart, i remember everything you say, the videos i insists on taking are memories that i can reminisces on. 4 years, i gave up my own life in pursue for yours. I walk behind you, following your footsteps. In fact, i live because of you. Always worrying that you will not be able to take care of yourself need to stop that soon.

Now, let me list down a list of things i need to fulfill :D

1. Buy keith a watch as i always hpe he will wear a leather watch
2. Celebrate 4year anniversaries without any quarrels & unhappiness
3. Jurong safra trip with Keith
4. Cook him a nice dish of chinese food
5. Get him a wallet for his birthday
6. Trip to night safari with keith
7. Hope he will bring me Ice-Skate like he promise (Kallang trip)
8. Change his habit of scolding "F***" (kind of hard)
9. Buy him a spec frame
10. Eat ice-cream together while walking home(not expensive, is normal stick ice-cream)
11. Go chalet with him one last time
12. Ask him see doctor, make sure his tummy is okay
13. Change his habit of drinking cold drinks at night (bad for asthma)
14. Boost his confidence in studies
15. Help him in memorising things better
16. Buy him a collar shirt (something unique)
17. Find him a slipper which will not fade in colour & not slippery
18. Eat beef noodles with him at century square the shop he eat with Nicholas
19. Request him to will wear the our ring one day without taking it out
20. Take pictures of him and me wearing the ring
21. Every outing from now on, try to take at least a picture together
22. Hope he will shelter me with umbrella without me asking

That's all i can think off for now, let me continue thinking tomorrow. going to bath to get ready to tuition (:
I bought a watch for him on August 28, its a gift i always wanted to give him. He doesnt have the habit of wearing watch & i hope i will be the one who change this fact :D Of cause the chances is like 0.1% but i believe at least if i try, i will not regret. I dont know if he will like the watch i bought as its abit not like his style and he havent wear something like this before. My elder sister told me that as long as you love the person you will like anything she/he buy. I believe its true & so i am looking forward to Friday to see if keith will like it.

I didnt do much planning this time as keith says he want to give me surprise & this is the first time he plan for any event between us so i am kind of looking forward. But being able to spend the day with him matters more than any presents or planing. He is having his test now & I truely hope he will be able to do well so Friday he will be showing me his HAPPY SMILING face instead of a gloomy one :D

All the best KEITH WHANG !

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