Tuesday, March 17, 2009 9:53 PM
In this world, relationship is either a 'A' or a 'B' type.
Type A happens when you love him more then he love you.
Type B happens when he love you more than you love him.
I'm in love, unfortunately i'm trap in type A, a situation where i love him more than he love me.
I've ever tried giving in to him and listening to what he says or doing what he want.
I've tried, in fact many times trying to tell myself & help him prove to me that he does love me.
I know long ago that he's not that into me but i dont want to give up on this relationship.
I want to try, just keep trying to maintain this relationship, doing my very very best.
I want to let him know that i love him, hopping this will touch his heart, changing his attitude.
I want to let myself believe that he's still in love with me, even just 10percent.
I tried catching up with him, but he just keep moving without turning back.
I tried going into his world, just to have more topic to talk with him but i just cant fit in.
I tried making him happy, but in the end i am unhappy.
I tried accepting him for who he is but he just became worst.
I tried to stop trying but i just cant stop loving him, wanting to be with him.
I HAVE, I WANT & I TRIED !
You have never listened to me
You have never take my advice
You have never try understanding how i feel
You have never ask me if i am truly happy
You have never allow me to be who i am
You have never give me a simple & innocent relationship
You have never kiss me on my cheek and say i love you
You have never held my hand tightly & never let go
You have never keep to your promises
You have never love me because i am ESTELLE CHEN
NEVER NEVER NEVER !
You just dont understand how much 'secure' is needed for a girl in a relationship especially when the girl had tried all means to keep this relationship going. You insists that i am asking too much and too unreasonable. But you just doesnt know how i feel. Womans are weaker in heart than in physical. You just dont want to try understanding me. If i'm the one you love most, you will change for me, you will keep to your promises, you will do anything & everything to see me smile & you will love me for who i am and not who you want me to be. Wanting you to tell your parents not because i ask too much. Its just that this will be my only sense of secure, my everything so this 'open relationship' is very important to me. I have been giving in to you, doing my very very best but no matter how hard i try, nothing change. I am still at the starting point. I am very tired and when i say i'm tired i mean it. Really very tired. I am looking for a shoulder to lean on, looking for a guy who love me more than i love him because i'm tired. Do you understand all this.
Giving up this relationship hurt me more than anything. Giving up something you have tried very hard to maintain hurts alot alot alot. If i have a choice, i will never choose to give up.
